A SeeDy Christmas
by The 41st Maguanac
Summary: The repost of a fic I started ages ago. Christmas is coming to Balamb Garden, and everyone's tense about the impending trip to Esthar. Of course, they'd even tenser if they knew what Seifer was planning for them... Rated PG for swears.
1. Mistletoe, Holly and Lots of Trouble

A SeeDy Christmas

**A SeeDy Christmas**

** **

**By 41st Maguanac / Galatea**

Important Notes: This seem familiar? It should, I posted it under the name of 'Galatea' back last year. Things have been very quiet on the Final Fantasy front, and I decided to repost these under the name I more commonly use because I actually intend to finish it. Shocking! There's nothing added **yet** but there will be more soon. **Promise**.

Note: For anyone who's never read any of my peculiar humour before, please note that there isn't a character in FF8 I don't like. Sometimes perhaps I'm too cruel, but it's all for humour, I try never to bash characters.

Chapter One – Mistletoe, Holly and Lots of Trouble 

"2 times 10 to the power of minus 3 multiplied by 4y squared, plus 9x squared is equal to 0. Find the value of x." Zell Dincht sighed and leant back on his chair for about the tenth time that afternoon, and rubbed his aching head. He ran his fingers through his spiky, blonde hair and let his mind wander as he looked around the decorated library. All the shelves were sparkling with tinsel and fairy lights. It made him feel even more downcast as he remembered Christmases back home. His mum had used to make the most wonderful Christmas dinners, with potatoes, and gravy, and bacon rolls, sausages, cranberry sauce… His mouth watered at the thought. This was the first year that he was going to miss Christmas at home, due to the fact that Balamb Garden was currently floating somewhere above the Centra continent. 

He looked down at the blank pages in front of him, but the questions didn't make anymore sense than they had a moment before. 'What am I going to do?' he thought to himself, 'If I fail another maths test, then my grade for the entire year is going down again. If it were up to me, I'd replace maths lessons with hotdog eating competitions! I'd win those for sure, and I could tell Instructor Aki to kiss my…' Zell awoke from his daydream to find that he had snapped yet another pencil. "Oh crap."

"Deck the halls with bows of holly…" sang the incessantly happy Selphie Tilmitt as she skipped around the Quad, coating every thing (or person) she found with decorations and a mound of fake snow. Several students had already been wreathed with tinsel, and Selphie looked like a walking, singing Christmas tree. She had yet to find any of her usual friends, but she had already finished her last lesson for the term, and Trabia having been destroyed, didn't have a home to feel sick for. She had emailed her parents back in Dollet, and Sir Laguna in Esthar, seeing as Squall had 'forgotten' again. The Garden Festival committee was in charge of the Christmas Eve party, and as always she was on the look out for new members. She wanted to reassemble her band to play a couple of numbers on the evening as well…

Rinoa Heartilly lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling of her room. Though she spent as many waking minutes as possible with Squall, she had to have her own room, as sharing rooms was thought 'improper'. Squall was pretty big on privacy too, so she had yet to gain a copy of the key to his room. She rolled over and looked at the wall, which had already been adorned by Selphie with several bits of tinsel and some mistletoe. She was bored. Really bored. 'Where is everybody?' she thought to herself. She was beginning to consider joining the Garden Festival Committee, simply for something to do. 'My God,' she thought, 'I must be desperate…' Just then, Squall's voice crackled over the speakers.

"Good afternoon, everyone, this is the bridge. The cafeteria has stopped selling hotdogs, and we will not be getting any new supplies until next week when we return to Balamb, though I expect that turkey sandwiches will be in excess until then…" Rinoa listened to Squall natter on about boring stuff until she noticed something in her clean laundry basket. Picking it up she headed for the door. 'Time for a little Christmas cheer…' she thought, smirking to herself.

"Hello, ladies!" Irvine Kinneas tipped the edge of his Stetson as he walked past the library committee members, who rolled their eyes and giggled flirtatiously. Irvine grinned to himself as he entered the reading room, only to discover Zell lying asleep on top of his maths homework. He decided to have a bit of fun with him.

"Hotdogs for sale!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs, receiving several dirty looks from the resident readers. Zell leapt up, scattering his maths homework like a makeshift snow cloud across the desk, and yelled, "Where, where?!" only to see Irvine laughing at him. He was about to have one of his major strops when Squall's daily announcement started over the tannoy. Zell was disappointed that there would be no more hotdogs for the week, but was even more surprised by the next thing he heard.

"In other news, the Internet is now accessible from your desks, but unsuitable sites are not viewable from here." Irvine groaned inwardly. "Last of all…"

"Squall?!" The pair looked up at the speakers as they heard the second voice of Rinoa blare out over the airwaves.

"Erm… I'm kind of busy, can this wait a minute?"

"No, I'm afraid it can't."

Irvine frowned. 'She sounds really upset,' he thought.

"If you'll just give me a minute I'll just finish this…"

"Squall, look at this!"

"Oh God, Rinoa, don't wave that thing around up here!"

Irvine raised an eyebrow and looked at Zell, who was just confused.

"It's PINK!"

"Erm, yes, yes… I can see that…"

"That's your fault, that is!"

"How? I mean… Rinoa, please put that away, what if Cid comes up here?"

'This just can't be what it sounds like,' thought Irvine to himself.

"He'd probably think that something pervy was going on."

"And you want him to think that?!!!"

"You have to apologise!"

"But it was an accident!"

"You and those damn socks!"

'Socks?'

"I forgot to…"

"Just apologise!"

"I will if you just stop waving that around!"

"What's the matter Squall? Are you embarrassed?"

"No… umm…"

"Oh my God, you're going all red again! How cute! You're even more red than those socks!"

"Look, I'm sorry about my socks all right?! You were the one who gave them to me, thinking that I needed some more colour in my wardrobe, so it's not my fault that they seem to have a life of their own. Next time, don't come up and start waving your lingerie around in my face when I'm on the air, because there is nothing I can do about it, Okay?! Now, please, I don't care if every bra you have is pink, don't blame me, blame the socks, blame the washer, blame the dryer, just PLEASE put your bra away and stop molesting me with it, okay?!!!"

Irvine was in fits by this point. Zell was balled up on the floor in stitches, and despite being hushed by the library committee, there was no one in the library that wasn't at least smirking. Quistis Trepe, the re-appointed instructor was trying to keep a straight face, and failing miserably as she taught her thermal dynamics lesson, and Selphie was busy recovering on a bench in the Quad.

"Thank you, sweetie, that's nice of you to apologise. I'll just leave you to get back to your announcement to the WHOLE of Balamb Garden, okay?"

With that, Rinoa walked back to the lift and disappeared through the floor. Squall took a moment to reconsider the past few minutes and walked back to the microphone.

"That will be all…"

To Be Continued.


	2. Family Resemblances and an Invitation

A SeeDy Christmas

A SeeDy Christmas 

**The 41st Maguanac aka Galatea**

Disclaimer: Ooh, I forgot to put a disclaimer on part 1… never mind. This story is mine, but the characters and the place belong to the spiffy people at Squaresoft.

Chapter Two – Family Resemblances and An Invitation 

Kiros sat looking out of the Presidential Palace window at the sun setting over the glassy blue rooftops of Esthar City. It had been a slow day, a lot of papers had been signed and there had been numerous 'Monster Drills' throughout the afternoon, when the guards practiced getting the President and his officials to the underground shelter. Esthar was a huge city, and as a result, monster attacks were very common. Kiros sat back and continued to polish the edge of his blade. His attention was caught as a paper plane whizzed past his ear. He was about to reprimand whoever was responsible, when he realised that it had been thrown by President Laguna, who was leaning back in his chair, his feet up on the desk, with an official looking document in several pieces on his desk.

"Laguna, what are you doing?" Laguna sat forward, his long, grey streaked, brown hair falling carelessly over one eye, as always.

"I'm bored." Kiros rolled his eyes.

"Shouldn't you be doing something presidential, like filling in papers, or something, rather than tearing up treaties with unpredictably violent countries?"

"Probably."

"Are you depressed?"

"No."

"Tired?"

"No."

"Incompetent?"

"What?"

"Never mind…" At that moment, Ward, another of Laguna's friends walked in. He had had his throat damaged in a fight with Esthar soldiers when they had been working in the Galbadian Army, but since then, Laguna had put research into the invention of a new voice box. The only problem was that it made him sound more like Fujin…

"GREETINGS!"

"Ward, you've got the volume up too high again, have you been instructing the soldiers?"

"APOLOGIES," said Ward, as he fiddled with the buttons on his neck. "Better?"

"Much."

"Erm, guys?" Ward and Kiros turned around to see Laguna leaning forward on his desk and looking at them pleadingly.

"Oh no."

"I was just wondering…"

"Whatever it is, the answer's 'no'."

"Aaw, but…"

"No 'buts' Laguna. The last time you asked for something, Ward ended up dressed in a white beard and red coat, and I had to wear a pixie hat…"

"But, I'm the President!"

"Don't give me that presidential crap Laguna. The answer's still 'no'." Laguna leant forward and sprawled out on the desk in front of him.

"I could have you arrested, you know, for defying my commands!" Laguna received such a killer look from Kiros at this remark, that he put his head in his hands and sulked, muttering, "Aaw, you are so unfair…"

"You know who you remind me of when you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That sulking, brooding thing, where you act like the whole world is balanced on your shoulders some how, even though, really, no one gives a shit."

"I am not sulking! I'm thinking."

"I expect that's what he always says. Just grown up a little Laguna, we're not in Winhill now, and you're a damn-sight older than he is."

"… Whatever…"

"By Bahamut! You did it again!"

"What?"

"That is so freaky!"

"What?!"

"You remind me of that SeeD boy… the one with the gunblade… and the sorceress… and the scar… and the really bad temper…"

"Seifer?"

"No Ward, the other one…"

"Have you been equipping GF's again?"

"No… his name… something to do with the weather… Cloud? Is that it?"

"Cloud, that rings a bell…"

"Isn't he really famous?"

"Cloud? No, he owns a bookshop in Esthar."

"SQUALL!!! That's the one. Now I come to mention it, you two are similar in a way…" Laguna smiled at this.

"You mean because we're both thoughtful, strong and brave?" Kiros looked at Ward. Ward looked back at Kiros, and shrugged.

"Erm, I guess you're not that alike after all. We know that for sure."

"How's that?"

"Because Squall's not a complete moron…"

"Oh… hey?!" Laguna was surprised to hear such a comment from his second in command, and having leant rather too far back in his chair as it was, he fell over backwards and knocked his head on the windowsill.

"I rest my case. Someone call a doctor. I believe his Excellency has knocked himself out… again…"

"Urgh?!"

"It's okay, Laguna, you're on your bed, you took a nasty bump on your thick head."

"Thank you for your kind concern Kiros. Your bedside manner is fantastic I'm sure. How did your last patient die?"

"Very painfully."

"I was thinking…"

"Not again… Did it hurt?"

"Hear me out, okay. I think we should invite those SeeDs back to Esthar for a big Christmas celebration. After all, they did save the world, time and space and all that stuff."

"Can it be possible that his Excellency has actually made an intelligent suggestion?"

"Oh, hah hah, very funny, I'm sure."

"I wasn't joking…" Laguna scowled at Kiros from under his ice pack. 

Sensing the warning signs, Kiros said, "I'll have the invitations written up straight away." On his way back to the door, Kiros almost walked into the pretty Doctor Trotter.

"Sir? I have the warm milk you asked for, and some of those warm cookies from the kitchens, but they may be a little cool by now. I brought up a plate so you don't get crumbs on your clean sheets, and your favourite hot water bottle with the little ponies on it…" 

Kiros hastily withdrew to his room, trying to fight a wave of nausea washing over him.

To Be Continued.


	3. Comedy in the Quad

**A SeeDy Christmas**

**By The 41st Maguanac aka Galatea**

Chapter Three – Comedy in the Quad 

Squall Leonhart decided to keep a low profile for most of the day. Coping with humiliation wasn't exactly one of his strong points, so he vented some of his frustration in the Training Centre. Despite it's enormous size, Squall didn't manage to find a T-Rexaur for the whole afternoon, but the Grat population was in serious decline. Squall sat on the edge of one of the broken logs and thought to himself. 

'This is boring. I could be spending this time with Rinoa, but I'm still too pissed off about earlier. I haven't run into Seifer yet, but I have a pretty shrewd idea of the kind of thing he'll say.' Squall started fiddling with the catch on his gunblade. 'We haven't had any real work since that Ultimecia incident. Rinoa's right, I probably think too much. When are we going back to work? I'm bored of floating about aimlessly. Cactuars and Behemoths are all very well, but hardly a challenge when you own a Lionheart and about a hundred Meteor and Ultima spells. I'd better find something to do before I start wondering about really trivial things, like, borrowing some more of Rinoa's shampoo, because it makes my hair really shiny, and easy to manage, and why I wear 6 belts, seeing as only one of them is actually holding up my trousers, and why I wear leather trousers, even in the heat of summer, and what happens to my gunblade when I'm not using it? It's not like I have a sheath for it, so where does it go? Who are my real parents? And more importantly, why did they LEAVE me?!'

"Squall?" Squall leapt up, wielding his gunblade in the direction of the voice.

"Whoa, chill out man, it's just me," said Zell, emerging from the shadows. Squall sat down on the log again, and put his gunblade away.

"Be more careful wandering around the Training Centre!" warned Squall.

"It's okay," said Zell, pulling a hotdog out of his pocket and taking a huge bite, "I'ff ot ese fiffs of mim."

"Excuse me?"

Zell swallowed the lump, "I've got these fists of mine!"

"Where did you get that anyway? I thought stocks were finished until after Christmas."

"Secret stash," said Zell, tapping the side of his nose in a knowledgeable way, which was rare.

"The Disciplinary Committee will be on to you if they see you."

"Seifer, Fujin and Raijin? Hah! They couldn't catch a cold between them!"

"Whatever."

"Speaking of the DC, they're putting on a comedy show in the Quad. Wanna go?"

"Not really."

"It'll be funny!"

"I can't imagine comedy as Seifer's kinda thing."

"Me neither, but I wanna see what happens. Apparently, he's doing impressions of famous people. Go on! Please?"

"All right. I'll go."

"By Eden, he said 'yes'! It's a miracle!" Grabbing Squall by the arm, he lead him quickly out of the Training Centre, and towards the crowded Quad.

The show was just about to start as they walked into the Quad. Tables had been put out for people to sit around, so Squall and Zell were quickly located and seated around a table with Selphie, Irvine, Quistis and Rinoa. Squall stared into his drink of Coke, trying to avoid eye contact with as many people in the room as possible. Irvine yawned and put his arm around Selphie, who noticed, but didn't say anything about it, as she was enjoying the attention. Raijin and Fujin walked out on to Centre Stage.

"GREETINGS."

"Yeah, hi, ya know."

"SHOW. BEGINNING, oh what the Hell. Hello everyone and welcome to our show. We hope you'll find it entertaining."

"Yeah, we hope you don't think it sucks, ya know?" For this remark, Raijin received a kick on the ankle, which silenced him. The audience laughed and cheered, thinking it was part of the act, and finally the curtain was pulled back to reveal Seifer and a microphone.

"Good evening, fellow students. I see a few familiar faces out there, most of whom have been running from the Disciplinary Committee at some time." Several students swallowed hard, a couple of seats were edged backwards, and several students found that a sudden trip to the bathroom was in order.

"Anyway. Tonight is not a night for discipline!" This got a cheer. "Throughout my travels, I have met many interesting," Seifer makes a face, "'people'" and bunny ears. "I have decided that I will portray some of them for you tonight."

'Why is he being nice?' thought Squall, 'Seifer can't usually get through a sentence without insulting someone.'

"First up," said Seifer, beginning to get into the flow already, "President Deling!" Seifer puffed out his stomach, and pretended he was addressing a camera. "Hello citizens of the world! Now I have finished making a crap job of getting the Dollet communication tower up and running, may I invite you to meet the sorceress Edea! She will begin her tyrannical reign and threats, just as soon as she is done, choking me to death!" Squall had to admit the accent was very convincing, but wasn't it rather bad taste to make fun of a dead man? Rinoa was in stitches, as she hated President Deling, but surely Edea wouldn't be happy about that? It wasn't exactly her fault.

"Next on my list is President Laguna of Esthar!" Seifer messed up what he had of his hair, and leant against the side of the stage. "Hi ya! I'm Laguna, the soldier turned President. Anyone seen Adel lately? I'm sure I locked her away in Space, but I might have to check. Of course, this may be a problem, as I can't find my ass with both hands…" The audience roared with laughter. Even Squall was forced to smile. The man was a moron, after all. It wasn't so much what Seifer was saying, but the perfection of the accent he used. Rinoa was a lot less impressed by this, as she had been the one left floating around in Space. Squall put his hand over hers to make her feel better.

"Next up is a good friend of mine. We've known each other since we were kids, back in Edea's orphanage. Of course, back then, we used to just call him Chicken-Wuss…" Zell was instantly alert. Seifer bent over a little, after all, Zell was only 5'5, the shortest of all the men, except the juniors, at Balamb Garden. He pulled a readily prepared sandwich out of his pocket, and stuffed as much as he could of it into his mouth. "Hhi, I'm Fell. If youf effer gneed me, I'll prfagly be fftuffing gown hoffdoffs in fa caffe," when Seifer had finished his mouthful, he was really beginning to enjoy himself. He danced back and forth in Zell's fighting pose, and pointed at people in the audience. "Hey!!!! You laughing at me!!?? Huh??!! Are you??!! You don't wanna start anything with these fists 'o' mine, or I might have ta…. Run home and get my mommy!!!" Zell leapt to his feet angrily. He was surprised to see so many people laughing. Even Squall was desperately trying to stifle a grin in the feathers of his jacket. Quistis laid a hand on his shoulder and Zell sat down, arms folded across his chest, sulking.

"Or, how about my lovely Instructor, Quistis Trepe?" Quistis looked up and frowned. Seifer sucked as much of his gut in as possible and walked across the stage, swinging his hips in the same manner that Quistis did. The Trepe fan club was instantly enraged, and left the Quad. "Hello students! Today we're doing… Seifer, put that down! Anyway… as I was saying… What is it now? No, I don't care if your desk is on fire… What's that? Squall? No, it couldn't possibly be him! Squall's perfect. I don't care if he is holding a flamethrower, it must have been planted on him… Right, that's it Mr. It's the disciplinary room for you. Everyone else can have free time, except Squall, you can stay with me…" Quistis was positively glowing with embarrassment. She had never realised that the students noticed that she paid Squall any more attention than anyone else. She was grateful to see that Squall was also blushing from ear to ear.

"Or how about the leader of the illustrious Garden Festival Committee? Until now, Selphie had been giggling uncontrollably, but now things were personal. Seifer made little flicks, like devil horns out of his short blond hair, and skipped across the stage. "Merry Christmas everyone! I'm so full of Christmas cheer, I might just burst! It is so ultra, super duper cool that everyone could be here tonight! I'm really looking forward to blowing something to smithereens…" Squall was laughing by now, a very rare sight indeed. Selphie was steaming with rage. Although Irvine was laughing, he liked to be in Selphie's good books, so got ready to stand up and have a go at Seifer.

"Is that a hat I see in the audience?" yelled Seifer, now at full pace, "Yes, I believe it's our brother-in-arms from Galbadia Garden." Seifer had a makeshift hat hidden behind the curtain. He put it on and tipped the rim, "Hello ladies! Glad to see so many of you here today! If maybe two or three of you aren't busy later, we could go back to my room and admire my… gun collection! Fire it? No, you must be joking! I always croak when it comes to the really important jobs!" Irvine sat down, his confidence immediately drained out of him. Was he that transparent? He didn't mind a reputation as a ladies man, but he didn't want a reputation as a womaniser. What would Selphie say about that? Selphie didn't even notice, as she was too busy giggling at him. Everyone was. He pushed his hat down over his eyes, and tried not to catch anyone's eye.

"That's about all we have time for tonight!" the audience groaned and cheered, "but I have one last impression to do before I go… Someone we all know quite well now, after all, he is our commander." Squall stopped smiling immediately. The other impressions Seifer had done had all been almost perfect. What would Seifer do for him? "Seifer stood silently by the microphone for almost half a minute. The audience were already laughing. Seifer changed his position, but still said nothing. It was obvious what he was doing. Brooding. Just like Squall did, with the exact same expression. Squall wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. "Uhh…" Seifer shook his head and left another huge pause, which was followed by more laughter. "I'd just like to say that everyone's doing a great job. Has someone just blown up the cafeteria? Okay, just as long as someone tidies up afterwards. Could the person who has set my hair on fire please be more careful, and the person trying to stab me in the back needs better knife wielding lessons. If you'll excuse me, I'm going off now, so Rinniepoos can tuck me into bed with a hot water bottle and read me another chapter of 'Wind in the Willows'.

'Damn it Seifer,' thought Squall. Even Rinoa was laughing a bit, as it was true that he hardly ever showed his emotions, but the last bit was just uncalled for! Squall stood up in the middle of the crowd, and marched out of the door.

"Well." Said Seifer to a subdued audience, "I guess some people can't take a joke…"

To Be Continued.


	4. Rumble in the Corridor

**A SeeDy Christmas**

**By The 41st Maguanac aka Galatea**

Chapter Four – A Rumble in the Corridor 

Squall sat, sulkily, on the edge of his bed, flicking playing cards into his gunblade case. 'How crap,' he thought to himself. 'Humiliated in front of the whole of Garden, twice in one day. Nothing happens for 6 months, and then two things suddenly happen at once, both which victimise me. How typical. That's no surprise though is it? For as long as I can remember I've been victimised by sorceresses, girlfriends, friends, and basically everyone who picks on me because I'm not emotional like Zell…'

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his door. He decided to ignore it, and hope that whoever it was would get the message and go away.

"Squall? I know you're in there. Let me in."

'Oh, brilliant,' he thought, 'time for a chat with Rinoa which will no doubt leave me feeling confused and like a spoilt brat again. I think I could do without that, that you so very much.'

"Squall? You can't stay in there and sulk all day."

'Yes I can, now go away.' He thought. 'If I stay quiet for long enough, she'll have to go away.'

"I know you can hear me!" said Rinoa, sounding irritated. "Open this door, or I'll tell everyone in the corridor about how you got your embarrassing scar, and I don't mean the one on your forehead!"

Squall got off the bed and went to open the door. "What do you want from me? Do you want me to be all happy, and act like I don't care that the whole Garden is laughing behind my back?"            

"Don't be so ridiculous," said Rinoa, "It's not like you were the only one he did an impression of."

"No, I guess not, but I didn't see him do an impression of you. I suppose that's because he still has feelings for you."

"He meant no such thing, and you know it. You're just mad because I made fun of you this afternoon. You've got to admit, it was funny."

"It was not."

"Yes it was. People look at you like you're not quite human Squall. Let them know that you know how to take a joke, and you can learn to laugh at yourself!"

Squall rolled his eyes. "I have spent my whole life trying to get people to take me seriously, and you are totally undermining that!"

"The only one undermining you is your attitude problem."

"You're starting to sound like my mother… Well, how she would've sounded anyway."

"Maybe that's because you need to grow up a bit Squall. You're only 18. Sometimes you act like you're 50, and other times you act like you're 5. I just don't understand you!"

Outside in the corridor, a small crowd had collected around the outside of the door. Zell was trying desperately to peer through the crack around the edge of the doorframe.

"What can you see?" asked Irvine, craning his neck so he could look over Zell's shoulder.

"Not a lot. Rinoa's standing too close to the door. I can't see a lot more than her butt."

"Ooh! Let me see!"

"Get lost, ya damn pervert!"

"What are they saying?"

"Something about… laughing at Squall… and Squall's mum…"

"Rinoa is Squall's mum?! Isn't she a little young?"

"No, you idiot, they are talking about Squall's mum. I didn't even know he had one…"

"He had no mum? How did that work?"

"Oh, Irvine, don't be such a moron, and shut up, I can't hear what they're saying!"

"What are you doing?" said a loud voice over Irvine's shoulder.

"Be quiet, or they'll hear you!"

"Well!" said Selphie irritably, "maybe they'd like to know that you two are EAVESDROPPERS!!!"

"Would you shut up!" whispered Irvine and Zell in unison. Selphie knelt down next to Irvine.

"What are they saying?" she asked.

"Apparently, Rinoa is Squall's mum, and likes laughing at him!"

"His MUM?!"

"No, no, no!" said Zell, in a harsh whisper, "Squall doesn't have a mum!"

"He doesn't? Then how was he…"

"Oh, just everyone, shut up!"

"And furthermore…"

"What? Rinoa, you have insulted me in every possible way, and it doesn't seem to be working, does it?"

"You are such a big baby! Come out of your little shell of a room, and go and talk to people. Everyone gets embarrassed sooner or later. Today was just your turn!"

"My turn?! You'd think it was written in the stars, and planned since my birth, the way you talk about it!"

"Maybe it was!"

"No way," said Squall with a sigh, "Nothing is planned. Stuff just happens, and there's nothing anyone can do about it until it happens. You can't plan for it. That's life!"

"I'm sorry for you Squall. What kind of person goes through life with that kind of attitude?"

"What now?"

"Well, apparently, life isn't planned… or something… Squall being a baby… something about his birth… and she's sorry…"

"I knew it!" said Selphie, excitedly, "Rinoa is Squall's mum! They're talking about the birth, and how it wasn't planned, and that she's sorry she didn't tell him before!"

Zell rolled his eyes. "Selphie. I may have a 'C' grade in maths at the moment, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Rinoa would've only been a few weeks old when she, supposedly, conceived Squall!"

"Maybe something happened when time was compressed, that we don't know about! It could be like that episode of 'Red Dwarf', and Squall will turn out to be his own father, and Rinoa, his mother!"

"Okay, Selphie, now you're freaking me out…"

"Eugh!"

"Quiet! What is it, Irvine?"

"I just put my hand in something unpleasant, and squidgy."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure I want to know… I think it smells like ketchup…"

"My hotdog! I was wondering where it had got to!"

"Well, kindly get it off my glove, and away from me, before I start to smell like you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like!"

"Oh yeah? Why don't you go back to the farm, cowboy, and round up some cattle or something? You're probably better at that than you are at shooting things…"

"Guys! Please!"

"Keep out of it Selphie," replied Irvine, adjusting his hat, "You wanna make something of it, Chicken-Wuss?" Zell turned around, very slowly.

"What did you call me?"

"I called you chicken, as in the yellow-bellied type, with less guts than a Cactuar when Squall has a sharpened gunblade and 100 Auras!"

"Right, that's it cowboy, you're going down, man!"

"Come one then, shorty, let's see what you've got!"

Zell flung his entire weight at Irvine. He was damn good with his fists, and spared Irvine no mercy with a blow to his nose. Irvine kicked out, and caught Zell in the groin with his huge boot. This gave Irvine long enough to pull himself upright. In one fluid motion, Zell pushed Irvine backwards into the wall, knocking his Stetson off his head, and on to the floor. Zell laughed and picked it up.

"Ooh! Look at me! I'm Irvine, the cowboy. All the chicks love me, even though I'm as thick as a…" Zell didn't have time to finish that sentence. Irvine was feeling sick of being humiliated in front of Selphie, and decided that he had had enough. He dived at Zell, in an attempt to throw him against the wall, but slipped in a small pool of mustard and flung him into Squall's door instead. This bruised Zell's spine, and dented the door in one loud crunch. Squall stepped out of his door and looked down at the chaos around him.

"What the Hell is going on today?" 

To Be Continued.


	5. A Few Unanswered Questions

**A SeeDy Christmas**

**By The 41st Maguanac**

Chapter Five – A Few Unanswered Questions 

"I can't believe that 5 of my best SeeDs are so irresponsible!" said Headmaster Cid. Rinoa, Squall, Zell, Irvine and Selphie sat in his study, each person trying to find somewhere else to look, rather than at Cid in his flannel pyjamas.

"But Sir…" started Irvine, removing the piece of tissue he had been holding next to his bleeding nose. He was quickly hushed.

"This all comes at a very inconvenient time," said Cid, sighing and reaching for his desk draw, where he kept his headache tablets. "I received an important message from the Government of Esthar this afternoon." Selphie perked up immediately.

"You mean we're going to see Sir Laguna?"

"Yes, Miss Tilmitt. President Loire has sent a general invitation to our Garden, inviting your group, and a number of others to the Esthar Christmas Festival." Cid handed a copy of the letter to Squall. "I believe you are familiar with Mr. Loire?"

"Yes," said Squall flatly. "The guy's a moron."

"Squall. I am not interested in your personal feelings towards Mr. Loire, or anyone else's for that matter. While you are in Esthar, you are to be polite and sensible at all times. While you are there, it is Garden's reputation you are upholding. The party is tomorrow night. We have already set a course for Esthar City, and will arrive there sometime tomorrow morning. There will be plenty of time for the Garden students to take a break while we are there, so take some time out and enjoy yourselves." Cid looked severe again. "I don't expect to hear of any behaviour unbecoming to SeeD and Garden. Now I suggest you all go to bed. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

The tired group of SeeDs departed, leaving Squall behind, wanting a word with the Headmaster. Cid didn't even bother to turn around as he spoke to him.

"I had a feeling you'd want to see me, Squall."

"Sir, permission to speak freely."

"Permission granted."

"I would like your permission to miss tomorrow night's celebration. I have some…personal differences with Laguna, that I do not wish to bring up again."

"Permission denied."

"But Sir…"

"Squall. These 'personal issues' you speak of need to be resolved. There is no point in running from them. I have no doubt that you are referring to the rumour that he is your f…"

"No, Sir! Whatever it is that you've heard, it isn't true!"

"You mean that he isn't?"

"No Sir!"

"I didn't even know that you knew how to play, until I heard."

"No S… What?"

"The flute, Squall."

"What about it?"

"He wasn't your teacher?" Squall sighed with relief.

"No, Sir, I don't know how to play. Ridiculous rumour, Sir. Glad I put it to rest."

"Aah, very well then. My opinion stands. You will go to the party tomorrow. That is final."

"But…"

"Goodnight, Squall."

"Goodnight, Sir." Squall disappeared through the open doorway. Edea entered through the door to Cid's bedroom.

"He's going to find out eventually, you know," she said. "It's only a matter of time now."

"I know," said Cid, with a frown, "But when he does, he'll be better for it."

"I wouldn't be so sure…"

The following morning was bright, despite the chill in the air. All the SeeDs, Squall excepted, were looking forward to some shore leave after the months they had spent floating about and looking for trouble. Selphie was looking forward to it as much as anyone, if not, more. She laid her bright yellow clothes out on the bed, and resisted an urge to start singing again, in fear of getting Zell hammering on the wall again. He had put his fist through it last time. Squall had been unimpressed, to say the least.

Selphie was looking forward to seeing Laguna above everything else. He was just so cute! Even all the cotton candy and reruns of 'Little House on the Prairie' couldn't make up a trip to Esthar to see her favourite President.

"Selphie? Are you ready yet?" came a call from behind her door.

"Just a minute, Irvine," she called back, picking up her Strange Vision, and slinging it over her shoulder. She went and opened the door.

"Are you really going to need that?" he asked, motioning towards the Shinobou on her shoulder.

"Just in case," said Selphie, with a grin. "Anyway, you're one to talk," she said, raising one eyebrow, and pointing towards his holstered Exeter.

"Just in case," he said smiling back at her. "Esthar holds all sorts of hidden danger, you know."

"Whatever," replied Selphie, fastening her yellow jacket around her, and zipping it up to her neck.

"Are you sure you're going to be warm enough?" said Irvine, with a laugh. Selphie was dressed up to the neck in scarves, and a little yellow, woollen bobble hat.

"Yeah," she replied, "All this wandering the globe in a pair of shorts makes me really regret not packing any thermal underwear." Selphie walked right past Irvine, smiling to herself. Irvine just stood for a moment, wondering what kind of thermal underwear she was referring to.

Squall slept late that morning. He had considered sleeping late on purpose, but had decided against it before he had fallen asleep, and forgotten to set his alarm clock. Usually it didn't matter. Rinoa was as good as any alarm clock he had ever owned, but for one reason or another, she hadn't come in to wake him up that morning. Rinoa always took the liberty of waking him up, because she thought he looked 'cute' while he was asleep. He yanked on his leather trousers in half a second, and spent the next ten minutes fastening his extensive belt collection. He was on belt number 2, when there was a knock at the door.

"S'up Squall!" yelled Zell, through the door crack. "Are you nearly ready? We're supposed to meet Cid in the Hallway, and you know he gets real cranky if anyone's late!" Squall buckled belt number 3, and sighed.

"I'm nearly ready. Why don't you go on without me?" Squall smiled to himself. Maybe he could miss the ride into Esthar, and wouldn't have to go to Laguna's little party.

"Sorry, Squall," said the voice of Quistis. "He sent us here to pick you up personally."

"Just my luck," said Squall, half to himself. He buckled belt number 4, and then said, "You know, I'm really not feeling too well today. I think it's all that wandering about in the night, but I think I have… a… chill… or something. I think you'll have to go on without me."

"Squall," said Quistis, "We weren't born yesterday. Cid said that if there was any kind of resistance, we were to use 'violent measures' to get you out.

"What kind of 'violent measures' are these?" asked Squall, buckling belt number 5.

"Well," said Quistis, "Put it this way Squall, I didn't bring my Save The Queen as a fashion statement, okay?"

"Oh… okay," said Squall, with a worried frown. He finished buckling belt number 6, sheathed his gunblade, and opened the door.

"Aah, Squall?"

"Yeah?"

"You got your trousers on back-to-front."

"Oh… Shit."

To Be Continued.


End file.
